Monthly Archives: May 2012

Opportunity Knocks at Marketing For Romance Writers Summer Camp. Open the door to our MOTTO: SEEK, TEACH, LEARN, SHARE, SUCCEED

Today, please welcome Pauline Baird Jones who will be talking about the other theme of my blog—writing. She has authored 12 novels, the most recent of which is Kicking Ashe.  She also has published three handbooks on writing.

 Welcome Pauline

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One day, when my daughter was little, she asked me, “Mom, how do you know what you know?

I looked at her, blinked a couple of times, and responded, “I learned it from someone else.”

Teaching and learning are fairly simple–and really obvious–concepts and yet…to learn a person needs to be teachable. We start out teachable, but too often, along the path to becoming grownup, we forget how to learn.

Being teachable is really important for authors. We need to be able to learn the craft, be able to adjust to a changing marketplace, and manage our personal businesses (yes, an author is a business).

Thankfully, there are people who are willing to share what they know to those taking their first publishing steps. I’ve been really lucky about finding people who a) knew stuff and b) were willing to share that stuff with a newbie so green she convinced beans she was one of them.

I can’t go back and shake the hand of the people who helped me when I was new to the business. Many of them I never met in person and some, sadly, are no longer around to thank. I can only do what they did and pay it forward. One way I do that is by directing people to good resources.

I recently had the good fortune to stumble onto a great resource, a yahoo email loop called Marketing for Romance Writers. If I feared I was too old to learn (I have been around the biz for a considerable time), that fear was eased after a week or two. I can still learn.

MFRW totally embraces the concept of paying it forward. In that spirit the loop is hosting a Summer Camp, which promises to be both free and packed with marketing information (details below).

So, how do you know what you know? And are you still teachable?

Marketing for Romance Writers Summer Camp is July 14th – July 15th. To receive updates for the camp or learn more about it and MFRW, please sign up here:

 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MarketingForRomanceWriters/

Pauline Baird Jones is the author of twelve novels of varying levels of mayhem and humor. She’s also written two writing handbooks, Adapting Your Novel for Film and Made-up Mayhem and she co-wrote Managing Your Book Writing Business. You can find out more about her and her work at www.paulinebjones.com

What I’m reading: The French Detective’s Woman by Nina Bruhns. Delightful page-turner with wonderful details about Paris.

We all turn to friends for fun, companionship and support with life’s difficulties. If we’re really lucky a good friend can also teach us a lot about life.

My best friend when I was a kid was a horse named Star. I had started riding off and on when I was four, but I didn’t get a horse of my own until I was ten. A year later I got the love of my young life. Star was a beautiful, liver chestnut (dark brown) Morgan mare who turned into the best pal a kid could want.

She didn’t start out that way, though. Six months after we bought her, I was ready to give up and try for another horse. While she was sweet and loving on the ground, she had been badly handled under saddle and was very hard to control on the trail as a result. There were few professional horsemen in my area. Most people bought horses with some basic training and just got on and rode. If a horse gave you problems, you tried a stronger bit and maybe a tie down. The advice we were given by more “experienced” people and even books was the harsh “make her behave” variety. I now know, of course, that was exactly the wrong approach for her.( See my previous post about “asking” mares.)

One day when I was at a really low point, I began playing around with Star on the ground. When we bought her we also bought her yearling colt, Comet. My dad used to play with him and taught him a couple of tricks. Of course Comet got lots of carrots and praise when he did them right. For some reason that afternoon, I gave Star the signal for one of her son’s tricks…and SHE DID IT. I was flabbergasted and tried again and she did it again. It was then I realized that she really wanted the pats and treats too, which had not been many because of her “bad” behavior.

The next day I went to the library and got a book on teaching tricks. I started with the simple ones, such as bowing, counting, nodding “yes” and shaking her head “no.” I soon discovered I had an astonishingly smart horse who would do anything for a carrot and praise. Over the years we developed a large number of tricks and even put on demonstrations at small horse shows. But I also discovered I had a horse who would try her best if you asked her, but would fight like mad against anyone who tried to force her.

I spent a lot of time developing a good relationship with Star on the ground and she learned to trust me. I changed to a milder bit and tried to listen to her as I realized how much she wanted to please. Eventually, we became an inseparable team. We competed in small shows, jumped cross-country, danced in parades, led a Western drill team and covered hundreds of miles of trails. When things got difficult at home, I’d take off on her and find my peace.

Star taught me a different way to deal with life. My family’s approach to life tended to be harsh and critical. She showed me a gentler way to handle problems. And to try and see what was really going on rather than reacting to appearances. She taught me how to be a friend by being my best friend.

Did you have a good friend who taught you something special or made a difference in your life? Who are the people you value?