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It’s been a while since I did a Snippet Sunday , so I thought I’d try it again. I know I have lots of fun reading all the other snippets posted by the many talented authors via Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors.
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Here’s a bit from the second chapter of Wyoming Escape. Let me know what you think.
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One dead body is frightening enough. A second one, plus a dirty cop, sends Mikela Richards fleeing for her life. She hides on a Wyoming Dude ranch, but her attraction to an on-leave Marine threatens her fragile feeling of safety.
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Mikela squinted against the bright Wyoming sun pouring through the cafe window and gave her breakfast order. Her last words were drowned out by a loud blast that shook the building and rattled the dishes. She clamped her hands over her mouth to stifle a scream while images of blood and death flashed in her mind. The waitress’ hoarse, smoky voice brought her back to the present.
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“It’s okay, honey. Just old Cranky’s truck backfirin’ again. Wish he’d get the darned thing fixed.” The buxom woman peered at Mikela in concern. “You all right? You’re white as a sheet.”
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Conversations with Horses and Others by Kate Wyland 
Nice scene — makes me want to know what sort of flashback she’s having. (I had a car backfire that badly once. They heard it a quarter of a mile away or more and it tore a hole in my muffler.)
Wow, that was quite a backfire. Didn’t know one could do damage like that.
Oh, I missed this story. Mikela seems pretty traumatised.
This is the start of the second chapter, so the provoking incident is missing. I’m not sure if I put up bits from Wyoming Escape before or not. Thanks for taking a look.
What a vivid scene.
It worked! Glad you liked it.
Very visual! Plunked me down right in the middle of the scene. The waitress’s dialect is perfect. I must admit that when I read her dialogue, I heard “Flo” from the old TV show, “Alice”. Guess my age is showing. Ha! Good 8 🙂 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpBJ90qbTyM
You’re right. I had a Flo-like character in mind. Glad you enjoyed it.
Oh great snippet.
Thanks!
I remember that show, Teresa, so my age is showing, too (even though I’m only 29–LOL). Nice snippet–I felt like I was there.
Cool. It’s doing it’s job then. Thanks for stopping by.
I’m curious to know what memories that backfire brought up…
I’m curious to know what memories that backfire caused to surface…
As I said, this is the second chapter. I didn’t want to repeat if I had already done #1. But if you’d read the beginning you’d know. 🙂
PTS?
Big time.
Terrific scene that brought two reactions from me. First: oh, no! Second: How funny!
This is my first time to participate in Weekend Writing Warriors and I’m really enjoying it.
Glad you enjoyed the snippet and the Weekend Writing Warriors. It’s fun to read all the new stuff.
Thanks for stopping by.
Classic PTSD—she’s definitely had a life-changing trauma. Very realistic!
I thought of Flo the Waitress, too. 🙂
Glad it worked. She’s got a lot to deal with. 😉
Very nicely done and believable. Son is active duty army – sudden loud noises are not a good thing. Well written.
Thanks! PTSD comes in many flavors.
Scent and sound are two big emotional triggers–you pulled me right into her fear.
Cool. I need to work on scent more. Though I do use it later in this scene.
Quite a scene! I could definitely relate to her fear when the big noise happened…and now I want to know all about her and the story. Great snippet!
So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks.
Great snippet! Now I want to know much more about her. 🙂
I’ll be adding more snippets, but if you don’t want to wait, it is available on Amazon. 😉
Nice setup of the scene and way to show she’s suffered a traumatic incident all in a few lines. Great eight.
Thanks much. And thanks for stopping.
I guess it’s easy to be jumpy if you’re on the run, wanted for a crime you didn’t commit! Thanks for sharing, great to meet you.
Agree with everyone else–this snippet sucks the reader right into Mikela’s fear!