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Horses and Heroines

What I’m reading: The Girl in The Box by Janet Miller – Futuristic tale about true love – what else?

In my last blog three weeks ago I talked about different horse personalities, particularly the Extrovert Thinker as typified by my horse Star and how this type relates to Alpha Heroes. Today, I’d like to discuss the Extrovert Reactor and the smart-ass, quirky heroine.

First, a quick note. These personality types are on a continuum, of course. Some are more extroverted than others, some are less reactive. Some can change—become less introverted or more of a thinker. But their basic type remains and influences their actions.

Portia at 29

My mare Portia, a grey Anglo-Arab (half Thoroughbred and half Arabian), is a typical Extrovert Reactor. She’s very sensitive to stimuli and hyper-aware of her environment. Even at age twenty-nine and retired, she can be challenging and needs an experienced handler. Not that she’d ever deliberately hurt someone, she just tends to react first and think later.

She’s also a horse that really enjoys life. She loves to play and will try her best to please. She’s the one who yells a greeting when she sees me and comes running up to the gate eager for a treat or an outing. In the show ring or a parade, when she “turned on” all eyes were on her. She also used to fly down a new trail with her incredible walk, eager to see what was around the next corner. Even though she can be a pain in the butt, her exuberance is a lot of fun.

When I first got her as a seven year-old, she was ready to spin and bolt at the slightest provocation—a rock that looked funny, a horse scratching it’s ear with a hind leg, a COW on the trail! She soon learned bolting wasn’t acceptable behavior so she tried others. Like teleporting half way across the arena or jittering in place or jumping straight up. I eventually discovered that part of the reason for her reactivity was because she was in pain. She needed chiropractic care (just starting with horses at that time and not widely accepted) and a correctly fitted saddle (which proved to be almost impossible to find). Once those problems were solved, she settled down a lot.

But she still retained her quirky personality. One time we hung a bright pink piñata in a tree near the pasture and she and my daughter’s horse decided that it was a decidedly SCARY thing. They came up close to the fence, took a look, then snorted and high-tailed it back to the barn. Duchess stayed there, but Portia couldn’t resist. She’d dance back up to the fence and watch big-eyed as one of kids swung at the colorful unicorn. Then she’d take off for the other end. A few minutes later, she was back, waiting to be “scared” again. I swear she was disappointed when the thing finally broke and everyone went away.

Her playfulness and sensitivity made her a delight to train. She was eager to learn new things and would try her hardest to do what I asked. Of course, this meant I had to be quite careful  with my corrections so I wouldn’t discourage her. In general, she’s always required a very light hand. As a result, I got a horse responsive to the slightest cue and that just about read my mind.

Riding her was never dull. As I mentioned, she is a sweet love and would never deliberately hurt anyone. But she could be a handful. She saved my bacon a few times—even if she caused the problem in the first place.

One time we were exploring in the mountains and I twisted around in the saddle to get a map out of the saddlebag behind me. Just then a pair of fawns exploded across the trail, directly in front of us. Portia spun aside–out from under me because of the way I was turned. I ended up hanging off her, one hand somehow on her bridle, one hand on the breast collar, one foot still in a stirrup under her belly and the other still in the stirrup on top of her back. Because of how far down I was and the fact the saddle was slipping, I couldn’t get back up. Another horse might have freaked and tried to get rid of me, but Portia stood perfectly still and waited for me to work myself loose of the stirrups and drop to the ground. I really couldn’t blame her for dodging  the fawns and I certainly appreciated her being sensible.

She reminds me of the funny, smart-aleck heroines who react without thinking things through. They may get into trouble for their impulsiveness, but they care about people and manage to come out okay. I can think of several. How about you?

Opportunity Knocks at Marketing For Romance Writers Summer Camp. Open the door to our MOTTO: SEEK, TEACH, LEARN, SHARE, SUCCEED

 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MarketingForRomanceWriters/

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Paying It Forward

Opportunity Knocks at Marketing For Romance Writers Summer Camp. Open the door to our MOTTO: SEEK, TEACH, LEARN, SHARE, SUCCEED

Today, please welcome Pauline Baird Jones who will be talking about the other theme of my blog—writing. She has authored 12 novels, the most recent of which is Kicking Ashe.  She also has published three handbooks on writing.

 Welcome Pauline

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One day, when my daughter was little, she asked me, “Mom, how do you know what you know?

I looked at her, blinked a couple of times, and responded, “I learned it from someone else.”

Teaching and learning are fairly simple–and really obvious–concepts and yet…to learn a person needs to be teachable. We start out teachable, but too often, along the path to becoming grownup, we forget how to learn.

Being teachable is really important for authors. We need to be able to learn the craft, be able to adjust to a changing marketplace, and manage our personal businesses (yes, an author is a business).

Thankfully, there are people who are willing to share what they know to those taking their first publishing steps. I’ve been really lucky about finding people who a) knew stuff and b) were willing to share that stuff with a newbie so green she convinced beans she was one of them.

I can’t go back and shake the hand of the people who helped me when I was new to the business. Many of them I never met in person and some, sadly, are no longer around to thank. I can only do what they did and pay it forward. One way I do that is by directing people to good resources.

I recently had the good fortune to stumble onto a great resource, a yahoo email loop called Marketing for Romance Writers. If I feared I was too old to learn (I have been around the biz for a considerable time), that fear was eased after a week or two. I can still learn.

MFRW totally embraces the concept of paying it forward. In that spirit the loop is hosting a Summer Camp, which promises to be both free and packed with marketing information (details below).

So, how do you know what you know? And are you still teachable?

Marketing for Romance Writers Summer Camp is July 14th – July 15th. To receive updates for the camp or learn more about it and MFRW, please sign up here:

 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MarketingForRomanceWriters/

Pauline Baird Jones is the author of twelve novels of varying levels of mayhem and humor. She’s also written two writing handbooks, Adapting Your Novel for Film and Made-up Mayhem and she co-wrote Managing Your Book Writing Business. You can find out more about her and her work at www.paulinebjones.com

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Personalities, Horses and Heroes

Opportunity Knocks at Marketing For Romance Writers Summer Camp. Open the door to our MOTTO: SEEK, TEACH, LEARN, SHARE, SUCCEED

What I’m reading: Satin Pleasures by Karen Docter – Fun frolic about keeping priorities straight.

Next week I’ll be hosting Pauline Baird Jones who is going to talk about being teachable—an important ability for everyone, including riders and writers. So this time I thought I’d talk about how personality influences teaching and learning.

StockFreeImages.com

I started training animals when I was a pre-teen, taught school in my 20’s, educated my kids (at least in some things) as I raised them and  ended up teaching engineers to use sophisticated software to design computer components. Along the way I learned how much the personality of the animal or human influences how they learn.

My first instructor in this area was my horse, Star, who I talked about last time. I became pretty successful in teaching her to do a lot of different things. Then her second son, Junior, came along and I discovered I needed a different set of tools to work with him. And this has been true with each horse I’ve dealt with.

You can classify horses as having one of four basic personalities. Just like with people, they can be Extroverts or Introverts. They also can be Thinkers or Reacters (emotional). So you can have an extroverted thinker, an extroverted reacter, an introverted thinker and an introverted reacter. Then you add their gender and their experience into the equation and you have a complicated being that requires some thought to train effectively. Each personality type has its pluses and minuses and is good for different things and different riders.

Star was an extroverted thinker. She was friendly, self-confident, rarely afraid of anything and willing to try whatever I asked her. She was also strong-willed and could be difficult. Horses are prey animals and, as such, are basically “scaredy cats.” In the wild they stay alive by being hyper-aware of their environment and ready to run on an instant. Domestication hasn’t done away with that basic instinct. A horse whose emotions dominate sees threats everywhere and can react without thinking. My Portia is a prime example. When I first got her, she would whirl and try to bolt at the slightest provocation. Typical extroverted reacter.

Star, on the other hand, rarely ever reacted to anything. Her version of a spook was to stop, study the offending object for a minute and then go up and sniff it. She had grown up along a railroad track and had experienced earth moving equipment moving around her space, so she learned early that loud noises and big things weren’t usually dangerous. Given her basic self-confidence, she extended this attitude to the rest of her world. You could surprise her, of course. She wasn’t bothered by the fire engine racing down the street, but nearly jumped onto our neighbor’s porch when it suddenly blasted its siren right alongside her. Scared the dickens out of me too!

Because of her personality, Star was easy to teach, once we started communicating properly. She enjoyed learning, experiencing new things and exploring new trails. Portia likes to learn too but gets upset easily, which shuts down her brain. On the other hand, Glory, an introverted reacter, is harder to teach because she’s afraid to try new things. And my husband’s horse, Koko, an introverted thinker, can be down right stubborn about trying anything new. So I have to adjust my methods for each personality.

These personality styles correlate to the characters I write about too. Alpha heroes, particularly military men, are commonly the extroverted thinker type. Brave, self-confident, ready to take on anything. Spunky, smart-ass heroines are usually extrovert reacters. They often take chances, letting their emotions rule their common sense. The quieter “beta” heroes, introverted thinkers, stubbornly do what they think is best. And often the heroine starts out as an introverted reacter but changes during the story.

What personality types do you like best? What type are you? What types do you like to read or write about?

I’m helping to promote an upcoming program for writers called Marketing for Romance Writers Summer Camp. It takes place July 14th – July 15th. To receive updates for the camp or learn more about it and MFRW, please sign up here:

 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MarketingForRomanceWriters/

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Best Friend … Best Teacher

What I’m reading: The French Detective’s Woman by Nina Bruhns. Delightful page-turner with wonderful details about Paris.

We all turn to friends for fun, companionship and support with life’s difficulties. If we’re really lucky a good friend can also teach us a lot about life.

My best friend when I was a kid was a horse named Star. I had started riding off and on when I was four, but I didn’t get a horse of my own until I was ten. A year later I got the love of my young life. Star was a beautiful, liver chestnut (dark brown) Morgan mare who turned into the best pal a kid could want.

She didn’t start out that way, though. Six months after we bought her, I was ready to give up and try for another horse. While she was sweet and loving on the ground, she had been badly handled under saddle and was very hard to control on the trail as a result. There were few professional horsemen in my area. Most people bought horses with some basic training and just got on and rode. If a horse gave you problems, you tried a stronger bit and maybe a tie down. The advice we were given by more “experienced” people and even books was the harsh “make her behave” variety. I now know, of course, that was exactly the wrong approach for her.( See my previous post about “asking” mares.)

One day when I was at a really low point, I began playing around with Star on the ground. When we bought her we also bought her yearling colt, Comet. My dad used to play with him and taught him a couple of tricks. Of course Comet got lots of carrots and praise when he did them right. For some reason that afternoon, I gave Star the signal for one of her son’s tricks…and SHE DID IT. I was flabbergasted and tried again and she did it again. It was then I realized that she really wanted the pats and treats too, which had not been many because of her “bad” behavior.

The next day I went to the library and got a book on teaching tricks. I started with the simple ones, such as bowing, counting, nodding “yes” and shaking her head “no.” I soon discovered I had an astonishingly smart horse who would do anything for a carrot and praise. Over the years we developed a large number of tricks and even put on demonstrations at small horse shows. But I also discovered I had a horse who would try her best if you asked her, but would fight like mad against anyone who tried to force her.

I spent a lot of time developing a good relationship with Star on the ground and she learned to trust me. I changed to a milder bit and tried to listen to her as I realized how much she wanted to please. Eventually, we became an inseparable team. We competed in small shows, jumped cross-country, danced in parades, led a Western drill team and covered hundreds of miles of trails. When things got difficult at home, I’d take off on her and find my peace.

Star taught me a different way to deal with life. My family’s approach to life tended to be harsh and critical. She showed me a gentler way to handle problems. And to try and see what was really going on rather than reacting to appearances. She taught me how to be a friend by being my best friend.

Did you have a good friend who taught you something special or made a difference in your life? Who are the people you value?

 

 

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Sex and the Single Horse

When I started this I had intended to blog weekly, but unfortunately I got sidetracked last week by a health issue that may make that problematic. Please do check back and I’ll try to not go too long between posts.

There is an old horseman’s saying: You can tell a gelding what to do, should ask a mare and must negotiate with a stallion.  I think something similar can be said about dealing with people.

A gelding is a male horse that’s been neutered. As such, he’s no longer ruled by his hormones and tends to be more even tempered. Most horses are gelded when they are quite young and often remain “child-like” with a relaxed and playful attitude toward life. Of course, breed and personality influence things too. Some are bred to be hot and excited, such as the thoroughbred, and some are bred to be laid back and cooperative, such as draft horses. But in general, a gelding is easier to deal with.

A mare, on the other hand, is quite influenced by hormones. From early Spring to late Fall, she comes into season about every 21 days unless she is impregnated. For some this is a big deal and they can be unpleasant or irritating to deal with. Most just get a little touchy and distracted. And just like with people, when someone isn’t feeling their best or isn’t attentive, it’s not wise to try to force an issue. Also because of the biological imperative to have babies, mares tend to have a more serious attitude toward life. This means they can get insulted quite easily. That can provoke a sullen shutdown, fearful withdrawal or determined resistance depending on their personality. But their mothering instinct is also a big plus. They want to cooperate and please and most will try their hardest for you if you ask nicely.

Stallions have one purpose in life – to breed and protect their mares and babies.  They are the ultimate alpha males. As such they can be quite difficult to live with and that’s why most males are gelded. Given how powerful and determined they are, you don’t want to provoke a fight. It won’t end well. All horses need to be taught to respect and obey humans, and this is vitally important with a stallion. The scent of a mare in season can turn an untrained stud into a dangerous time bomb and be a potent distraction for the well-trained. So, you have to take into account the forces driving them and figure out how to negotiate their cooperation. The results can be spectacular.

Do these descriptions remind you of people you know or characters you are writing about? Who are the happy-go-lucky people in your life? How do you handle the moody characters? Any alpha males that need kid gloves?

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New Beginnings


When I was a little kid I had no fear of horses.  In fact, I would get furious if someone tried to convince me that they could hurt me. This lack of fear was reinforced by my mother allowing me to play with a herd of mares and foals that lived in a field near us. The mares recognized that I was a baby and were very careful around me. And the foals let me pet and play with them even though they wouldn’t let anyone else near. Of course now as an adult and with lots of horse experience, I think my mom was crazy, but she didn’t know any better at that time.

A few years later, the horse my sister was riding kicked at my horse and got me instead. I have a small scar on my left leg as a memento. However, this didn’t change my mind about my equine friends. I knew he wasn’t trying to hurt me. I just got in the way. But I did learn to be more careful around them. Oddly enough the same thing happened again about 15 years ago. A nasty tempered beast let fly at my horse, got me instead and almost put me in the hospital. I still love and have horses–but I won’t get near that kicker.

As a result of working around horses, riding trails, competing in various events I had very little physical fear, unlike most girls my age. That gave me a confidence to try new things and an openness to new ideas. Unfortunately, my experience with people made me less willing to reveal these ideas to others. It has taken a long time to develop the guts to expose myself. And of course, that is what this blog will do.

I’ve always loved to write and was good at it. I worked as a technical writer for software and I’ve done magazine and newspaper articles. But now I’m putting myself out there with my first love–fiction. I hope my stories will be well received and others will enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

 

 

 

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